I read that Gloria Steinem advised women that they should "strive to become like the men that they had always wanted to marry." (I got this from Eat Pray Love which I just finished reading a week ago.) I like the idea of being someone you'd want to marry. It's kinda like what Ghandi said about being the change you want to see in the world. If I do decide to get married someday, I'd want to be with someone who's living a life of passion and purpose, someone who loves the Philippines fiercely, someone who's smart, independent, and grounded. I hope to be like that too.
BUT THEN I also thought, WHAT IF men also strive to be the women they want to marry? I guess (and correct me if I'm wrong) men want women who can become doting mothers and wives. Women they can have good conversations with. Women they can establish a solid friendship with. Women they can have good sex with? (Ken, being the only male in our class, do enlighten me on what men want.) But I also think men should be ready to become doting fathers and husbands. Men should be willing to stay home when wives make plans. Men should bring their kids to school and help them do their homework. Men should also be loving, affectionate, giving, and patient--adjectives we usually associate with femininity. I think it's possible. I'm a huge fan of the Ick-Guzman marriage, and I remember Ma'am Ick telling me that sometimes her husband turns down roles because he needs to stay home with the kids. Ma'am Ick said that her husband says, "Ang mga excuse ng mga matrona, excuse ko rin." Pak. That's love.
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