Wanted: Life Partner

I read that Gloria Steinem advised women that they should "strive to become like the men that they had always wanted to marry." (I got this from Eat Pray Love which I just finished reading a week ago.) I like the idea of being someone you'd want to marry. It's kinda like what Ghandi said about being the change you want to see in the world. If I do decide to get married someday, I'd want to be with someone who's living a life of passion and purpose, someone who loves the Philippines fiercely, someone who's smart, independent, and grounded. I hope to be like that too.

BUT THEN I also thought, WHAT IF men also strive to be the women they want to marry? I guess (and correct me if I'm wrong) men want women who can become doting mothers and wives. Women they can have good conversations with. Women they can establish a solid friendship with. Women they can have good sex with? (Ken, being the only male in our class, do enlighten me on what men want.) But I also think men should be ready to become doting fathers and husbands. Men should be willing to stay home when wives make plans. Men should bring their kids to school and help them do their homework. Men should also be loving, affectionate, giving, and patient--adjectives we usually associate with femininity. I think it's possible. I'm a huge fan of the Ick-Guzman marriage, and I remember Ma'am Ick telling me that sometimes her husband turns down roles because he needs to stay home with the kids. Ma'am Ick said that her husband says, "Ang mga excuse ng mga matrona, excuse ko rin." Pak. That's love.

Fashion and the Filipina

In Preview Philippines, there is a fashion spread entitled, "Beauty and the Geek." The first line of the blurb is, "Ugly is the new pretty." All they did to make the (thin) model (with high cheekbones) "ugly" was to add glasses, make her hair frizzy, dress her up in tops with high necklines, and add books and pencils as her props.

Fail.

Cosmo Philippines has an interesting spread on women entitled "Fun Fearless Female Awards." There are articles on Filipinas Charice Pempengco, Jessica Cox, Divine Lee, Kiri Dalena, Melai Cantiveros, Alex Eduque, Kate Torralba, Joy Rojas, and Maritess Mendoza. These women are celebrated for going the extra mile. Charice has a rags-to-riches story (at nasa Glee na siya ngayon, okay. Siya na talaga.). Joy Rojas was the first Filipina to run across America AND Luzon to Mindanao.

It's important to note that femininity is still the "marked" gender. I've never seen any magazine features on "fun fearless males," or even "brave Filipino men." But (I think) this is better than not recognizing these "fun fearless" women. It shows that fashion magazines aren't just about pretty pictures and makeup, but it could also be a venue to celebrate women's achievements.

Of Labels and Titles

In the Philippine Online Chronicles, there is a section on Pinoy LGBT! I discovered that there is a ten-year-old group called Lesbian Advocates Philippines or LEAP.

In POC-Pinoy LGBT, there are several articles talking about female homosexuality. Very enlightening because there is very little information and representation of lesbians in Philippine media. I quote some highlights:


Mas makapangyarihan ang salitang tomboy kaysa sa lebyana. Sa kanilang paliwanag ang lesbyana ay ang  receiver sa sex.


Ang malinaw, silang mga ‘tomboy’ ay hindi naghuhubad ng damit sa pakikipagseks. Sila ang maghuhubad sa partner na ‘lesbyana’.


[M]aging sa mga oras na ito ay mas pamilyar lamang ang ating mga kababayan sa pagkukulong sa mga lalaking transgender sa salitang bakla kung saan ang mga babaeng transgender naman ay tinitingnan bilang mga hard-core butches.


Magic, tomboy, tibo, t-bird, batibot, pare, o lebsyana ay karaniwan lamang sa mga labels na ginagamit natin para sa kanila. Ang bawat isa ay may taglay na mga implikasyon na karaniwang negatibo. 


Sa kahuli-hulihan, hindi naman kasi labels or tags lang ang ating  totoong binabasag kundi ang mga mapanakal na konseptong kaakibat nito. Kumbaga sa isang artikulo, hindi lang sa titulo nito natin ito pwedeng mahusgahan, malaki ang maaaring  maibigay na paliwanag sa  nilalaman nito at lalong higit sa pagitan ng mga salitang naghihintay lamang ng mas malalim na pag-unawa at pagkatuto.

Source

Other related links:
LEAP Facebook Page
(The Wall looks like a dating forum though)
LEAP Multiply site
(But it hasn't been updated since 2009)

Ina Mo!

The Filipina as a mother is a very prominent figure in our culture. Filipinas are deemed to be inherently caring, kind, and selfless. These adjectives are magnified 239487293874 times when women become mothers.

Case in point: Vilma Santos's character in the movie Anak. She left her children to work abroad in order to earn more and give them a better life. That's like the ultimate sacrifice a mom can do. Pero yun nga lang, her children grew up without a mom. Therefore without guidance and TLC.


This is the mega iyakan confrontation scene. Ang galing ni Claudine at Vilma dito ha. I actually haven't seen this movie, pero in fairness, na teary-eyed ako sa clip na 'to.


Ah, now we come to one of my favorite Filipino films of all time: ANG TANGING INA NIYONG LAHAT, the sequel of TANGING INA, another one of my favorite films. I SWEAR if I meet Ai-ai in real life, iiyak ako.


I love this movie so much because Ina, Ai-ai's character, is facing several challenges (single mom, 12 kids, no stable job) but she does it with so much candidness and humor. Having several odd jobs (e.g. dancer, chambermaid, waitress sa karinderia, kargador sa ice factory) and going back to school (at 40 years old!) were't something she complained about. She just knew she had to so she could support her family. Walang iyakan, walang drama. Ina tried to save the (female) President's life and ended up running for President---and winning! We see how being a mother of 12 came in handy in being a President!

Filipinas Online

If you search "Filipina" in Google Images, you will be led to these pictures:

"Pinay" isn't looking any brighter:

It's so sad that we're still stuck in the Filipina-equals-mail-to-order-bride stereotype. Hello, it's 2010 already. The website Pinay.com shares the same sentiment. It says that the search for "Filipina" yields "mail order bride sites, sex tourism bar girl sites, and too many pornographic sites," which is why it wants to "reshape the Filipina image online." The site's content isn't available yet, but take a look at the Google Ads. Google Ads are generated from the keywords of a site.

Oh well.

FilipinaImages.com is doing much better. It lists words that we associate with being a Filipina, such as a "mother," "homemaker," "shy," "beautiful," "decision maker," and so on. The site celebrates all kinds of Filipinas. It doesn't matter what occupation we have, because all Filipinas "have a right to empower themselves." Take note that "domestic helper" was renamed to "domestic service professional." Parang lesson lang sa English 118: Semantics--when you change words and labels, you can change attitudes.

This blog is gunning for something similar. Except we don't just want to empower the females, but also other types of gender in the Philippines.